Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
