Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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