I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I touched a dick in church today
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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