omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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