Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
