I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
