literally had 100 drinks last night.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
