i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize