Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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