Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize