I'm lost and stupid without you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
