awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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