Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
