Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
