he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
