I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
ok first of all what the fuck
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
