I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You don't make any sense
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