I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
