so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
