singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
