After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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