I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
