i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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