Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize