Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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