When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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