You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
