Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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