i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
