AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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