haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
