The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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