So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
