I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize