Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
