Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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