I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
