I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
