My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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