he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
