He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
