when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
