There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
