god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
