Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
