I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
vagina is talking i cant
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Randomize
