So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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