I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize