It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
