is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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