i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
