They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
