that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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