vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
