it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
