girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
