I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
