it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
