She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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