The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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