I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
