honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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