Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize