weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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