i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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