just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize