Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
