No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
