I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So. Much. Porn.
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