Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
