We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
