And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
