do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You are the jesus of drinking
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
