He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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