soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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