Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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