get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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