I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
