I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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