THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
When are your genitals available?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
