I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
