Me. At least after what I've been through.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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