So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
