Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
