Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was like eating out sand paper
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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